Summer of 2009 took a family vacation to Sawyer, MI.  Absolutely LOVED IT!  There is nothing better than a vacation on a lot of land in the mid west, close to the lake, a couple hours from the city… just sitting around playing cards, catching fireflys, bbq, pool, beach, oh I could go on and on about it. 

Fall of 2009 I finally left (made him leave) my husband.  I was so incredibly unhappy and I didn’t even know it.  I just knew that even the sound of his breathing was irritating and I tried to live with him for years and it never got better.  Botttom line:  People don’t change.  Period.  Marriage counseling for over a year and I couldn’t figure out, with all the changes I was making, I was happy for about an hour after the session and then everything went back to normal.  He finally admitted to me after we split up that he never tried.  He only went to ‘shut me up’ and he never made any effort.  I can’t tell you that I’m still not mad about that.  It’s immature, selfish and a million other things but the thing that bothers me the most is all the wasted time.  When he decided not to try in the marriage any longer, why didn’t he just tell me and end it years and years prior.  Well, that is a simple answer readers.  The answer is he doesn’t make an effort in anything that he doesn’t want to.   It was more work to move than it was to stay and just avoid the marriage.  I have to accept it (somehow) and move on.  We get along very well, as long as I don’t dwell on these things, and we are very amicable when it comes to my little Zachy.  So that was a busy 2009 end of year I guess! 

2010 – Summer we went to Cozumel and stayed at the El Cozumeleno Resort.  I can’t say enough good things about that.  You really can’t beat an Apple Vacation.  If you haven’t tried one of their all inclusive packages you really must do so… Really.. I’ll wait while you check them out!  www.applevacations.com   Me, my girls (who are 19 and 17 now – YIKES) and my little guy (who is now 6) and we had a blast.  We played tennis, golf, snorkled, ate, danced, swam in the ocean, ate, swam in the pool, played bingo, ate – did I tell you it was all inclusive so the eating never stopped!  Airfare, hotel, food, drinks, tips, transfer from the airport to the hotel – all included!  You don’t need a penny.  Although, you are still in Mexico so you might want to have some cash   We could have stayed on the resort and been satisfied, but one day we went to town.  Went shopping and ate lunch at Senor Frogs.  Hint:  Do not order 4 sodas because you have 4 people.  Order 1 soda.  Each soda comes in, what seems to be, a yard glass, haha. 

So after Mexico I was 116lbs and looking pretty good.  I started dating.  UG what an experience.  Ladies, if you are unhappy I don’t suggest you stay in your marriage (unless you haven’t tried every single thing you could of course – do that first ) but don’t, I repeat, DON’T think you will have so much fun dating.  It sucks on the most major suckage level there is!  The positive to that is after meeting 2 people you will have something to talk about with the 3rd person.  People. Are. Crazy.

Now we are here – because I am tired of typing.  Today.  I am up to 132 lbs.  Yes – you did the math, 16 lbs in one year.  I will have to start working on that.  We will talk about that another time, I’m avoiding the subject, even when discussing it with myself.

I’m going to run to Starbucks and treat myself to a coffee and maybe grab some cheetos and then come home and read a book.  I’m reading James Patterson’s new book – Now You See Her – very good so far.

So ta ta for now.  I can’t wait to talk to you later!

There was a tribute wall to the victims who survived and a tribute, inner circle, to the victims who passed on.  I took some photos of my favorite quotes.  And a photo of what it said on Dave Sanders tribute.  He was a true hero.  If only he was gotten to sooner.  If only he would have survived.

Last night was my daughter’s JR Prom.

Amber before prom

Her and her boyfriend got back here at about 11:30.  Luke Engler and Amanda were here waiting for them.  They were all going to go to after prom together.  It’s a neat thing they do at the high schools out here (didn’t have this is Blue Island, IL).  They go back to the school, and it is open until 5am.  They had a ‘casino night’.  My younger daughter went with them as well as a guest of Luke.  I was so proud of her when she called me at 1:30 am to tell me she was playing BlackJack, and then the call to pick her up at 3:30 made me proud as well.  Everyone else had left and came back to my house, but she didn’t want to go….seems blackjack kept her attention and she played all night, lol.  How nice when you see your kids growing up like you!  hehe

Everyone slept in until about 10:30 – not as late as I thought they would though – and I made cinnamon rolls for breakfast.

My husband, who finds anyway he can out of spending time with the family, went to a BBQ at some garage or something, like a business sponsored event.

Tonight Lee, Zach, Amanda and I are going to the Columbine candlelight vigil at Clement Park in Littleton, CO.  I finished reading one of the books that was just released this April about Columbine, I am going to finish the other one today before we get there.

It is truly sad that there were all of these signs, any kind of parental involvement could have stopped this.  Parents, get involved, be noisy, who cares about privacy when it comes to your kids.  Operative word being YOUR kids, YOUR responsibility.  I honestly don’t know how the parents of those two live with themselves.  I am sure they never wanted this, that is not what I mean to imply, what I mean is, how could you live with yourself KNOWING if I only would have looked in his room, read his diary, his web blog, under his bed, etc.  Heck in the goodbye video they made one of them cried and said he wished they would have been more involved.

I don’t understand.

Well, on that depressing note, I’m using our leftover Easter ham to make Navy Bean soup. YUMMMM.  But i have NEVER been able to recreate the one my mom made, it is always SOOOO much better than mine.

Love you mom!

If someone was being attacked with deadly force and I was a witness to this, I can legally protect the person being attacked all the way up to the point of killing the person who is doing the attacking.  So while one side of the assembly is arguing the removal of the death penalty, I would like to point out the very logical possibility of extending it to even attempted murder cases.

Why is it ok that I stop a killer (or someone whose attempt to kill was thwarted) by killing them, but a jury cannot do the same thing?  I can’t find a logical argument.

Interesting info found here:  http://www.prodeathpenalty.com/DP.html#D.Cost

Oh, and I do want to mention here that Craig.. you are my guy, we don’t always agree, but I love your logic, willingness to listen, and understanding of others’ points of view, not to mention you are funny as ****.  Dan – I’m with you on most issues bud.

Now we are going to watch seven pounds, also am not interested in this movie.  Will Smith is also very naice to look at but i like his comedic/action type roles, not sure how I’ll feel about this movie.

I think I’ll read while the movie is on and see which captures my attention more.

Tomorrow is my oldest daughter’s Prom.  Her and her boyfriend go to different schools, same city just different schools, and both proms are on the same day.  Great minds out here in the Jeffco public school system   They decided to go to his prom since it will be held at the Denver Center for the Performing Arts and the theme is Now and Forever in Paris – http://www.denvercenter.org/Home.aspx.  I’m trying to think of something to get Amber that would be Paris themed for the Prom.

My husband and son were together all day today.  He took the day off, because he can’t work in weather like this (a lot of roof work, and outside work – www.animalsintheattic.com).  They went to Best Buy and then went to lunch at Mannie and Bo’s Pizzeria http://www.merchantcircle.com/business/Mannie.and.Bos.Pizzeria.303-277-1793.  My husband really has a thing for their calzones.

I started reading Subterranean by James Rollins, it’s great so far.  Just finished chapter 4.  I’m an avid reader, I usually stick with a select few authors.  When they don’t have anything out I look for something new.  I found The Last Oracle and The Judas Strain and after reading them thought…well… I guess he’s on my list now.  So now I’m ‘ebaying’ his old Hardcover’s until I have them all.  I’m very excited.  (Doesn’t take much to make me happy:))

I’ll write more later, have to start a page on Goals, I want to start tracking the many things I’d like to do, and I also have to start a page on my Genealogy.  I talked to my husband about visiting my Gammy for a weekend sometime soon and he gave me the thumbs up!  I’m going to bring a video camera to record many conversations to hopefully document her life.

I called her on the way home from work to see how she was doing – she was born in 1924 so I like to check up on her.  We talked for about 30 minutes and she talked about her family and I started to ask questions, as I have many times before, but this time it hit me.  My mom is dead, I have no brothers and sisters, her brothers and sisters are all dead.. I am the only one left who can pass all of this on!  So I decided I’m going to go out there for a weekend this spring/summer and talk to her about all of this, jog some memories and record it.  I would love to write her life story.  She has one, that’s for sure!  I’m very excited at the idea of doing this.

Background – for the past 2 years the VW show has been the same weekend as the Colfax Marathon.  Me and my oldest daughter, Amber, volunteer each year at the Colfax marathon so we have to coordinate what to do with Zach since it always conflicts with the VW show.  So this year I wanted to get this planned ahead of time if there was a conflict again.  Thus the text asking him if he was available.

Ok, back to our convo – Lee replied, yeah, I replied to your text earlier and said that I can’t watch him because of the VW show.  So I was a little put off because why is it I can think to ask if he is available to watch the baby, but he feels no need to do that.  Taking me for granted, assuming I have nothing going on, assuming I will be able to watch the baby and had no plans.  I asked him why is it that I can ask him if he will be around, ask him if he can watch Zach, but he just takes me for granted and assumes I’ll be there?  He responded, well you know this happens every year, and I said this year I’m not watching Zach if the VW show is that same weekend.  I said that’s not what I am asking.  I’m asking why you didn’t ask me, you know how I asked you if you could watch him?  I told him, I never said I wouldn’t, it would be just nice to have the courtesy of being asked instead of you just assuming I’d be around.  He then went onto say – again – but the show is always conflicts with the marathon.  I said so the dates are always the same, it’s always the same weekend?  He said no, its that it always conflicts.  I said ok, let me explain this a different way… did you know what weekend the VW show was today when I asked you if you could watch Zach.  He said no, I looked it up after you asked me if I could watch Zach.  (I have shortened the argument, but it was about 10 minutes).  I then said Lee, seriously, all you had to say was ‘after you texted me I checked, that is when I found out the dates, I didn’t know before today otherwise I would have asked you.  No arguement necessary.

Seriously….my husband.